To Grit with Grace, Episode 9 — Julie Davitz: Impact in Action
RANDY: Our guest today, Julie Davitz, literally grew up in a barn, believing that the best thing in life would be to marry, and to marry rich. In spite of her spunk, her independence, her tenacity, Julie took the safe road.
Looks, as we know, often deceive; the “safe road,” the seemingly “easy” path, can be anything but.
You will hear how she went from a Cinderella life, to an absolute wreckage, to what sounds to me like sheer hell. But it was hitting this hard bottom of desolation and despair that brought her to where she is today: an internationally recognized impact leader.
Julie recognizes the urgency of interest, the rise of viable solutions, and the technology delivery mechanisms. Her vision: connect these three to offer scalable actions, in order to address our 17 U.S. sustainable development goals. This led her to found Plus Media Solutions. To learn more, see plusmedia.solutions.com.
Part 1: Not That Napa Valley
My family was all from Italy, from northern Italy, in the wine business. I grew up in Napa Valley long before Napa Valley was Napa Valley. It was very blue-collar, it was very farm, and ag — I grew up in the barn with pigs and cows and sheep.
When you have parents who are from a different country, and who speak a different language, their idea of impact is quite different than what we have here in the U.S. They always found me to be the odd man out. Not only were they Italian-Catholics who ended up with one girl, but they didn’t quite know what to do with me. I wanted to be editor of the paper, and I wanted to be a cheerleader, and I wanted to play the piano, go to college. All of these things — they would scratch their heads, and think, “My gosh. What have we created?”
I grew up in a very traditional family where the best thing that a girl could do would be to get married, and even better if you get married to someone who’s wealthy. So when I met my first husband, I thought, “Oh my gosh!”
My first husband — he’s a WASP. I don’t know if I’d ever met a WASP before, a real WASP, like out of The Great Gatsby kind of WASP. Wit the tweed jackets, and the blue blazers, and the country clubs, big house, pool, maid…I was just bowled over. He was smart and handsome, and all the academic goals that I had set out in front of me sadly fell to the wayside because I leaned on that, “Ooh, this is safe, this is what my parents told me I should do.”
It looked like a whole lot of fun — a wonderful, easy life. I ended up getting married two weeks after I graduated from undergrad.
Part 2: Marriage Story
I expected intimacy and connection, and I didn’t get it.
He spent a lot of time playing golf. I spent a lot of time with my dog, and with the boys. As the relationship moved through the years — we were married 16 years — there was very little overlap. Which is tremendously sad, but I was so young, I didn’t know the questions to ask. I didn’t know what I should be looking for. I didn’t even know myself. I just thought, “Wow, this is kind of a Cinderella situation, what could be bad?”
I came home one day, and my phone started ringing. It was a dear friend of mine, and she was crying.
She said, “Have you heard?”
I said, “No.”
“I just came from a lunch,” she said, with a woman that we were all friends with. “And she announced her relationship with your husband.”
Initially, after I got the phone call, I literally was in bed for two days. I went through this physical shock, where I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t move, I was a wreck.
I remember very well going to the Marina Safeway. The Marina Safeway is a real social scene — everybody knows each other. I’m out the checkout counter with an enormous cart of groceries because I have three little boys. I’m using my credit card, and it’s declined. Then I write a check — in those days, they could punch it in to see what was in your checking account. Nothing.
He had shut down all of our bank accounts. I had no money to buy food for my kids.
In the course of four or five days, I was locked out of my home, I lost a place to live, I had no job, and I had three kids to raise. I ended up having to borrow money from good friends to feed my kids for several months. I am not a lawyer — he is — and I would get these certified letters almost daily in the mail from lawyers and forensic accountants — it was a nightmare. Day-to-day nightmare.
Part 3: Impact Journey
That really started the impact journey. Impact of being hit, physically; impact of being absolutely broke; and impact of realizing that there are always solutions.
I got myself a job. I met a Silicon Valley family who wanted to start a foundation. I built that for them, and led it for 12 years. Initially, I was scared out of my wits, and I thought, “There’s no way I’m going to be able to do this. I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m such a faker, they’re gonna find out about me… .” During all of this, I’m also going through a custody fight, because he decided he wanted to have the kids, when he never wanted to have the kids before.
I was working as hard as I could so I could keep a roof over our heads, keep us together, and find a way to remain a family. I knew that if I didn’t get my act together, that would never happen. I just adore my sons. I had that real drive.
The foundation focused on youth at risk education programs. The beauty of that was I was able to take my kids into the projects in San Francisco, in Oakland, in East Palo Alto, and when they started feeling sorry for themselves that they no longer lived in the big house in Pacific Heights, and Mom was working all the time, and we were moving around, they got to see what real hardship looked like.
I was very proud to build this foundation and have a significant impact on kids throughout schools in California. One of the programs I designed, an early literacy program, was adopted by the state of California.
From there, I went on to work with a Nobel laureate at the University of California. He brought me on to help him build the Institute for Neurodegenerative Diseases at the University of California campus. With him, I got to fly all over the world and meet amazing people. We raised $80 million, and then the recession hit.
Part 4: Transformer
Everybody across the UC system was cut out. And I was one of those positions that was eliminated.
When I lost my job at UCSF, I was really worried. I still had kids at home.
I talked to my kids, and I said, “What do you think we should do?” They said, “Mom, I think you should talk to Dad. Maybe he’ll help us.”
I had never asked for help from him, for all of those years. But I was in dire straits. So I thought, “Okay, I’m gonna give it a try.” I sent the email, asked if he would stop by. He said he would.
He came by one evening after work. Beautifully dressed, as he always was in his tailored suits, drove up in his brand new Aston Martin to my little rental, and opened the door.
I said, “Thank you for coming by. I’m in a really bad spot. It’s Griffin’s last year of high school, we really don’t want to move again. I know I can right this ship, but I’m in a tough space right now. Could you help us?”
He looked at me, and you know how those kids’ toys, the Transformers, turn from one innocuous thing to something really awful and evil, all in a matter of seconds? I had this stepping-out-of-Brooks-Brothers man in my hallway, and all of a sudden, I had the Transformer.
He looked at me, and he said, “I want to see you living in the gutter. I’ve been waiting for this moment, and everyone will see you fail.” And he left.
One of my sons happened to be home at the time. I thought that they were all out of the house and that they wouldn’t hear this conversation because I never intended for that. He was in the kitchen, and he heard everything. After my ex-husband left, he stepped out of the kitchen, and we looked at each other. He said, “Mom, he’s crucified you.”
From that day onward, I have said to myself, “Come hell or high water, I am going to be successful.”
Part 5: Plus Media
So I found myself in this place where I had to start over again. I looked at my bucket. I decided, “You know what, people are always asking me for advice. Why don’t I find a way to monetize that?”
So I started my own consulting business. That led me to work, once again, all over the world. I had the most amazing experiences. I got to fly on the Google jet to India, I got to spend weeks and weeks in Africa, it was just the most incredible gift.
I was running my business, and I got a call out of the blue from a large global bank who wanted to talk to me about building out their impact program. I accepted because when you’re at a certain age as a woman, you need healthcare. And you need a regular salary, and to think about growing older and creating some security. So I did it.
I built it, and I did what was asked of me, but I really was a round peg in a square hole. Through all of my experiences, I’ve worked a little bit more creatively — banks do not always lend themselves to that. I realized that I needed something more, something that better represented me.
So when I left my bank job, I wasn’t as fearful as most people might be, because I felt, “I can do this. I have been through the wringer, and I know that it’s possible.” Ironically, what I’m doing now is bringing solutions to people. Where I started, years and years ago, was from people asking me what they could do. And I know that everybody out there wants to do something good — for themselves, for the world, for their community, but most of us don’t have the tools to even know where to begin.
So that’s what my company Plus Media Solutions is doing. It’s a great feeling to be out on my own, and I know that it’s going to work.
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