That's a Wrap: Looking Back on Season 1 of "To Grit, with Grace"
by Randy Kaufman, with research assistance from Dustin Lowman
98% of the time, we know the on-paper versions of our colleagues.
We see the resume versions: their schools, their jobs, their carefully curated online profiles. We witness the veneer that they share with the world — the same veneer we all concoct as a kind of modern survival method. 98% of the time, we don’t have the time or the emotional bandwidth to get to know the person behind the curtain, the person that struggles, hurts, and sometimes has a hard time getting through the day.
My marketing manager, Dustin Lowman, and I developed “To Grit, with Grace” to illuminate the hardship — often near-fatal — that underlies most highly successful individuals. In pared-down, curated episodes, “To Grit, with Grace” shares the stories of adversity and perseverance — grit and grace — that have defined and shaped my guests’ lives. Each episode serves as a jolt of inspiration for people negotiating this chaotic world.
In truth, I’ve never liked podcasts — in part, because I didn’t know what podcasts could be. I thought of them as long, rambling, multi-hour treks through the twisting annals of conversation. Instead of producing a formless interview show, Dustin and I produced a curated storytelling show, complete with music, sound effects, and narrative structuring.
As Winston Churchill said, “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” I’m so proud of “To Grit, with Grace,” and how the stories in the show prove his credo true.
Here’s some of what I learned as a result of producing the show, and forging deeper bonds with these wonderful speakers.
Misery Makes Companies
There’s an old saying: “Misery loves company.” After nine episodes of “To Grit, with Grace,” I learned that a slight variation is also true: “Misery makes companies.”
Justin Breen, founder of BrEpic, was more miserable than ever after having made more money than he ever thought possible. It propelled him to reinvest in BrEpic, and to learn that he was not the only entrepreneur who had experienced these feelings — far from it.
Julie Davitz and Rachelle Fender were both laid off in the wake of the ’08 financial crisis. After a period of confusion, misery, and self-doubt, Rachelle redefined her purpose in life, and went on to become Unstoppable Foundation’s senior manager of strategic partnerships.
When she went to him for help, Julie Davitz’s ex-husband met her at her doorstep. He told her: “I want to see you in the gutter...Everyone will see you fail.” Julie took her cue, and with the motivation to look after herself and her three sons, went on to a successful career in the impact sector.
Dustin Lowman himself, whom I interviewed alongside his parents, founded his company, Guitar & Pen, in the wake of (as he puts it) “failing” in Nashville, TN. Bereft of the identity he once felt was inviolably true, he had to navigate his misery to create something new. And he did!
There’s something about that darkness — the absolute, pitch-black darkness that subsumes us when we go to those depths of misery. In the moment, it feels inescapable, painful, overwhelming. It’s easy to succumb to it.
Why do some people get past it? How do these people still their minds against the chaos of their current circumstances, and have faith that, if they keep moving forward, they’ll find a more peaceful clearing?
There’s no “how,” really. They just keep going.
Grit and Grace in Action
As I discussed in the inaugural episode of “To Grit, with Grace,” I believe that grit is simply the ability to keep going when everything in the world seems to want you to stop.
I first understood grit when I found a box of photographs from Nazi concentration camps in my father’s wine cellar. In that moment, I saw how my father, a medic in World War II, had witnessed the limits of human cruelty — the systematic dehumanization and extermination of living souls — and, as a Jew himself, kept moving forward.
Not only do these gritty individuals move forward, but they manage to transform the darkness of these challenging moments into an overwhelming light. That is, they create grace in the unlikeliest of scenarios.
After witnessing the torment of a boy with mental disabilities in Turkey, Bruce DeBoskey declared that he would never be a bystander again, and dedicated himself to a life of advocacy. Bruce spent years with the Anti-Defamation League and is now a philanthropic advisor.
Knowing that his commanding officer’s orders were putting him and his whole unit at risk, Curt Cronin expressed his disapproval — not once, but three times. He was unsure of the outcome and feared offending or alienating his commanding officer. But instead, by allowing “the space for grace,” as Curt appropriately put it, he achieved a much better outcome than if he had stood by silently.
After her partner was disbarred, divorce lawyer Leslie Montanile was subject to an avalanche of lawsuits which took years to resolve. But she took it as an opportunity to strengthen her relationship with her husband, Joe. The two of them found the light at the end of the tunnel, and Leslie found the will to write her story in the memoir, The Cult of the Black Card: A Divorce Lawyer’s Tale of True Love, Lust, and Lies.
Season 1: That’s a Wrap
There’s more in these episodes than I could ever do justice to in a single post. In just nine episodes, we spanned much territory: Navy Seal operations in Iraq, backpacking in Turkey, folk singing in Nashville, financial crisis all across the country, and more. We talked to people who grew up with nothing and people who grew up with everything.
In short, we talked to humanity — the many ways it can manifest, the common lessons that make our days enjoyable.
That’s a wrap on Season 1, and 2021. You can listen to the episodes by clicking the guests’ names above, or visiting the links below. We’ll be back next year with more speakers’ tales of struggle and perseverance. Until then, with grit, with grace, with growth, and with so much gratitude.