Monica, 68, knew that artistic success doesn’t come easy. In addition to raw talent and grit, it takes the right resources at the right time: inspiring professors, dedicated practice space, and state-of-the-art (pardon the pun) facilities.
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I heard my father’s message of resilience throughout my childhood. It, and other better-known variations of the sentiment — ”The only way out is through” (a Robert Frost paraphrase), “If you’re going through hell, keep going” (Winston Churchill) — turned grit into my north star.
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In the early sixties, my parents decided that their Brooklyn children should have a life that included the country. My frugal dad, who never believed in mortgages, saved enough to buy a small house in Columbia County for summer weekends replete with frog catching, hiking and mandatory Tanglewood concerts.
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As a young corporate tax lawyer, I never gave a moment’s thought to portfolios — mine or anyone else’s. October 1987, found me with my head buried in the Tax Code, vaguely aware of market turbulence, blissfully unaware of the consequences.
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As a wealth advisor, I often have conversations with parents concerned about spoiling their children. “I just don’t want my kid to turn into Paris Hilton,” they tell me, using “Hilton” as a byword for all that can go wrong with a privileged upbringing. Their children are often either adolescents or young adults, displaying some Hilton-esque warning signs.
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Is family philanthropy a false god? In my opinion, no — it’s just hard. When it comes to ambitious goals, I believe hard is good, and easy is bad. It’s a good thing, too, as researchers have found that the most durable, profound pleasure comes from activities that require effort.
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Philanthropy is one of my favorite things. I have dedicated many hours to it for myself, and my clients, over the past 25 years. But, as Andrew Carnegie said, “It is more difficult to give money away intelligently than to earn it in the first place.” Philanthropy — it’s a messy business. And, in philanthropy even more than in investing, far too often we (including yours truly) are still ruled by our caveman brains.
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